Day 89

This is my talk from the funeral:

(I followed the most beautiful rendition of 'Come Thou Font of Every Blesssing' I have ever heard, played by Dave's cousins in a string trio and piano ensemble)

Come Thou Font of Every Blessing...Amberly's favorite hymn...thank you so much George & Michelle, Jaren and Michael Angerbauer, for coming to share your beautiful talents and love with your music. We ARE receiving the stone of help we need at this most difficult time.

Amberly Dawn means like a jewel in the morning, and it fits her completely. She shines for us still. Amberly, our sweet first born in this wilderness of life...her loss is so deeply felt, and yet we choose to celebrate her and her life, for she loved life so much, and with everything in her, she fought to stay here with her boys and Jason.

From the very beginning, she was extremely creative, with a vivd imagination and contagious enthusiasm. Her little hands would always be drawing, painting and writing. She won many Reflections Awards. She was conscientious, clever and good in school. As she grew she was transformed from a shy girl in glasses to the most beautiful of women. As a cousin wrote of her in tribute, "I could feel her bright and shining soul." It seemed she moved through life creating beauty and order wherever she went, and sharing her own special brand of love and compassion. She gathered around her the dearest of friends, and her love of her family was what gave her her true purpose. She was always so excited to be with ALL of her family members, the more the merrier. Even as a child her excitement for special events was uncontained. In recent months, she would tell me of a feeling of great excitement that she would feel from time to time...that something amazing was going to happen. We assumed that it meant that she would be healed in the way we wanted, but now I wonder if her spirit knew what her mind could not accept, that she would be part of a greater plan. As a mother, I prayed mightily for inspiration to help her, and I remember clearly having the strong impression several times that we had turned a corner. I assumed this was taking us to the miracle we wanted. More recently, during a sacrament service, I questioned the Lord as to WHY we had not received the miracle we had prayed for and the strong impression came that we are in the midst of a greater miracle...one that we cannot yet see, but that is of profound importance to us. I don't know what could be more important than for her to love and raise her children, for her to be with her Jason, but I DO trust in His plan and will do all in my power to still assist her in doing this. I know she will be an ever-present influence in her children's lives.

I have friends in the Seminaries and Institutes, that as soon as I asked, found me statements of doctrine to verify this fact. As Pres. Joseph Smith has told us, "They (those who have passed on) are as deeply interested in our welfare today, if not with greater capacity, with far more interest behind the veil, than they were in the flesh." Parley P. Pratt wrote, "With what tenderness of love, with what solicitude of affection will they watch over our slumbers, hang about our pillow, and seek to communicate with our spirits, to warn us of dangers or temptation, to comfort and soothe our sorrow, or to ward off the ills which might befall us, or to give us some token of remembrance and undying love."

Jason, Davin, Aaron, Collin and Nathan, I hope you know that your sweetheart, your Mom will never be too far from "her boys". We have been promised that Heavenly Father will NOT leave us comfortless. In fact, in the scritures we are told, "I will go before your face, I will be on your right hand and on your left...my Spirit shall be in your heart, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up."

May I bear testimony that our Angel Amberly is not far from us, that her love is stronger than ever. I express the utmost gratitude to her angel friends here that helped her so much. Her wish was not to be forgotten, how could we ever, our most precious friend, daughter, sister. Her legacy lives on in her children, in the lives she touched for good; her love and memory will be forever imprinted upon our hearts. My Mom passed a year ago, and I can remember one day after work and my Institute class, going home to just relax. I reached for the remote, and the Spirit whispered to me, don't pick it up, write Amberly. I for once listened and went directly to the computer to send her an e-mail of encouragement. Then followed one of the sweetest experiences. As I was typing and stating that angels and family members on the other side were working hard on her case, the Spirit washed over me and I knew it was true. Tears were running down my face as I was told in no uncertain terms how very involved angels and family members were in Amberly's struggles. We CAN feel their influence and love.

I am so honored to be Amberly's mother, and that will never change. She is my daughter, my friend, and now our Family Angel. I am so grateful for the teachings of the Gospel that bring us peace and comfort. I know that Christ lives and loves us and will heal all wounds, in his sacred name, Amen.